


Watch Me Make You Hate Me

by Katastrophi



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Brotherly Affection, Brotherly Love, Confusion, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Platonic Male/Male Relationships, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, Transphobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-24
Updated: 2014-01-24
Packaged: 2018-01-09 19:52:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1150117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katastrophi/pseuds/Katastrophi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dave is going through his closet, deciding to weed out some o his more "feminine" clothing. It causes him to think far too hard about his situation and gives him anxiety. But that's nothing his twin brother can't fix. </p><p>Dave is a FTM trans*male.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Watch Me Make You Hate Me

Dave sat on his shared bedroom's floor, staring into his closet. He'd been going through a lot of his older clothes, weeding out the more feminine clothes he'd aquired over the years. The act was bringing back quite a few memories, some making his anxiety want to rear it's ugly head. Grasping at his knees with one hand, Dave rifled through his socks, the majority of them knee or thigh highs. They were all gifts from his twin brother Dirk, and his father who they lovingly refered to as Bro.

Chewing at his bottom lip, the near white-blond looked down at his bound chest, the vest like binder compressing his rather developed breasts. He hated them beyond anything. The Striders, even Dave, all had very defined jaws and narrow noses, making it easy for the male to seem far more masculine, but his damned chest always gave him away. He hated it more than words could express. After a long talk with his father and brother, they all had come to the conclusion that this was for the best. That he wear a binder and at least get a feel for the idea of being completely flat chested before any talk of surgery.

Deep down, Dave knew he was a boy. He knew that no matter what, he would rather be a cissexed boy than anything else... but did that really mean having to give up EVERYTHING he had before he had confirmed his decision? Was it wrong of him to still like his red and white striped thigh highs and the lolita dresses that Dirk had designed for him? His stomach felt weighed down and hollow, the spot on his lip where he had been chewing now slightly bleeding. He didn't want to give this stuff up. He didn't want to throw away all of those memories he had dressing up with his twin in cute dresses while Dirk had puffy pants and vests.

Tears were threatening to spill down the 17 year old's slightly chubby cheeks and his shoulders shook. This wasn't fair. He knew that no one would understand. They would yell at him that he was confused. That he was still a girl that just wanted to dress somewhat masculinely on ocassion. That was just so far from the truth that it made him feel sick. If anything, it was the polar opposite. He was a BOY. He liked the baseball tees and skinny jeans. The pantsuits and the broad shoulders. He wanted to maybe eventually have facial hair and to feel rugged. But... He also wanted to feel cute and feminine on occassion as well.

The confused male jumped up when he heard his twin walk into the room and he started flitting through his button up shirts hanging in the closet. /Don't let him see you cry, Striders don't cry, bro./ Dave sniffed, trying to will away any excess wetness near his eyes. The boy with pointy sunglasses just gave him a raised eyebrow.

"You okay bro? You never just walk around in a wrap and boxers." Dirk's voice had already dropped, leaving Dave as the only soft spoken person in the house. It almost made him wish to be mute.

Dave gave a silent nod, trying to focus on the buttons of his blue plaid shirt. One of the sleeve cuff buttons were starting to fray from chewing on it. He was going to have to fix that. The golden blond rolled his eyes, knowing more than well enough to tell the warning signs when his brother was upset. "Dude. Quit that shit. You're obviously upset."

"'m not." The other male gave a grunt before sitting back down.

Dirk sat beside him, boldly removing his brother's aviators. "Don't lie. Shit's bad for your skin. What's wrong?"

Dave bit at his bottom lip, the slight cut in the flesh stinging. As a source of comfort, he laid his head down on his brother's shoulder, whimpering. It took everything he had to not crawl into Dirk's lap and whine like he'd always done when they were little. "Just confused... I... I don't want people to get mad at me..."

The broad shouldered male tilted his head and pet at his brother's short locks of whiteblond hair. "Mad about what? Far as I know, you ain't done shit except conned me inta doin' your dishes all week."

The upset boy glared at his brother for a split second before it failed; he didn't have the energy to hold it. He sighed, almost wanting to smile when Dirk lifted his frame into his lap. Dirk was the best brother and friend he could ever ask for. The asshole knew exactly what to do to piss him off or make him so happy his heart was going to burst. All in the span of three minutes. It was a talent, really.

Dirk continued to scritch his hair, massaging behind his ears. "Don't be stupid bro, I know you don't get real upset like this over nothing. What's buggin' ya?"

"...I... I don't want people to say I ain't a boy because I still like those stockings or the dresses ya gave me?" Dave's voice was meek, muffled from talking through his brother's shirt. "Like, I just... I wanna be seen as a boy..."

Dirk's mouth formed a very thin line and he bit the inside of his bottom lip to keep from snapping at his brother. He lifted Dave's chin, taking off his own shades to prove how serious he really was. "Is it stupid and girly that I like anime?"

"No?" Dave let himself follow Dirk's guiding grip.

"Is it stupid of me to have designed those dresses or actually to 've /made/ 'em for you?" Dirk's voice was almost icey, stern and serious.

"No, you design stuff like that all the time."

"Then why in the fuck would it be stupid for you to like thigh highs and those dresses?" Dirk's eyes narrowed at each word, staring deep into his brother's near red eyes.

"Because I'm a trans*boy! People will just think i'm a confused girl..." Dave's bottom lip quivered, feeling his stomach drop when he actually said the words out loud.

"David, you are still a goddamn boy even if ALL you wear are fucking dresses and thigh highs. When did clothes suddenly start saying what gender you are? I wear those dresses on ocassion. Does that make me less of a male? Hell fuckin' no. And it doesn't make you any less of one either." Dirk huffed and a deep growl rattled his chest. "An' if anyone says different, I'll beat their asses until they wished they weren't alive. After you get ahold of them, I mean. Don't give me that whole 'I can take care of myself' shit; I have it memorized at this point."

Tears prickled in the corners of Dave's eyes as he hugged his slightly older brother. He nuzzled into his neck, trying to hide that he was trying to hold back a sob. "I fuckin' love you, bro."

"Me too, lil bro. Me too." Dirk pressed a quick kiss to the top of Dave's head and sighed, feeling a bit better. He knew this stuff was going to be difficult for his twin, but he'd be damned if someone was going to down him and ruin the things he enjoyed just because he didn't fit a fucking stereotype.


End file.
